


Withered

by molli_bloks (Menhera_Piers)



Category: Minecraft (Video Game)
Genre: Anachronism, Angst, Caring, Explicit Language, I'm being as vague as possible, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Somewhat Dirty Jokes, Trans Male Character, Wounds, mining, semi-verbal character, touch-averse character
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-26
Updated: 2019-08-18
Packaged: 2020-05-20 16:00:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 11
Words: 4,604
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19380016
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Menhera_Piers/pseuds/molli_bloks
Summary: Red Carnation- My heart aches for you.Acacia Blossom- Concealed love.Daffodil- You're the only one.Anemone- Fading hope.Herobrine was never good with love, or emotions at all, for that matter. He went about his day-to-day routine, feeling next to nothing. He was called many names, but none his own. There was one that always hurt, however, no matter how many times he'd heard it.Monster.But who was the real monster, he asked himself, a man who couldn't feel nor understand emotion or a society who persecutes others for things they can't control?He didn't ask to be like this. Nor did he ask for this kind stranger to take care of him after a particularly nasty fight. He didn't ask for this warm feeling in his chest that he could only attempt to guess the meaning of.But fate has a way of putting things into motion on its own.(Extremely slow updates)**CRITICISM APPRECIATED AND ENCOURAGED**





	1. The Beginning

Herobrine was never what you would call a social person.

He kept to himself, partly out of fear, partly out of disinterest in social relations. "Why would a guy like him be afraid? Isn't he an immortal god with infinite power?" I hear you asking.

Well, the best way to explain that would be to start from the beginning. Not the beginning, per se, but the beginning.

After the fight with Notch, he'd been banished to the Nether. The legends weren't wrong about that. But they had always left out how he'd been stripped of his status as a god. Stripped of his powers, and... well, he was made into a mere human.

The legends also ever-so-conveniently left out the fact that Herobrine hadn't hated the humans. He'd actually been fascinated by them; only from a distance, however.

He didn't like how extremely social they were, and he had brought his concerns to Notch's attention. All he'd asked was that Notch could maybe make them a tad more reserved.

What about that warranted being made to feel idiotic?

He retaliated.

Was he evil for defending himself?

Was he evil for escaping the Nether and occasionally taking from successful miners who could definitely spare the supplies because he didn't want to die?

Did he deserve harassment every time someone recognized him during one of his ventures away from home?

Did he deserve being beaten half to death if he was unlucky enough to have found himself in a bad village at night and being called pathetic when he lay on the ground, bleeding, because they were ignorant to the fact he was only human now?

Or less than human?

Emotion was part of being human. Herobrine only knew two emotions: fear and anger. And even then, he hadn't known what they were until a friendly miner who hadn't recognized him, thank Notch, spent an afternoon with him in a cave.

That woman had explained to him what he was feeling, and yet Herobrine still felt disconnected from them. As if they weren't his.

And so he'd decided that they weren't his, simply an illusion, and accepted that he couldn't feel anything that wasn't physical.

That brings us to now, after Herobrine had been beaten once more.

The small group of two or three (he couldn't tell anymore, his vision was blurred by tears battered out of him) was walking away now, satisfied by the damage they'd done. Their laughter and gossip was still audible, but garbled and distorted.

Herobrine pulled himself up with a light grunt and backed into the stone wall behind him which was wet and shining with his blood. His entire body protested at this and he was flooded with even more pain, so much so it took every ounce of strength he had left to not puke.

He sat there for a while, waiting for the pain to fade just enough for him to limp home as he'd done a thousand times before and would do a thousand times more.


	2. The Meet

Steve was briskly making his way home. It was now night, and any miner in their right mind knew that the worst time to be outside was at night. He knew the normal route like the back of his hand, but this time he'd have to take the less-traveled shortcut.

He was about to cross the rickety wooden bridge when he saw a silhouette on the path about 20 feet ahead.

"Hey!" he called. "You know this is a horrible time to be out, right?"

No answer.

Steve frowned and continued forward, thus getting closer to the stranger.

It was a man. He was obviously badly injured, having a torn, bloodstained shirt, a bloody nose, a busted lip, a black eye, and bruises everywhere. He was also limping and half-slouched, wrapping his arms around himself in a pseudo-hug, either for comfort or because of another injury.

"Oh, damn. Are you okay?"

The man stopped, stood up a bit straighter, and turned to Steve with a grimace. "Why do you care?"

His voice was low and gravelly, presumably from lack of use.

He also couldn't help but notice the man's eyes were pure white.

Wait...

"You're Herobrine, right?"

A nod.

"What happened to you? I thought gods couldn't get injured like tha--"

Herobrine continued walking, faster than before.

Steve continued to follow him. "Where are you going, even?"

Again, no response.

He sighed. "I doubt you have supplies, wherever you're going."

Herobrine hesitated, then shook his head.

"I'm on my way home anyway. You could come with me and I could help you. Just until you're healed enough to manage on your own."

No reply.

"You don't have to, it's just an--"

"What do I have to lose?"

Steve shrugged and continues walking to his house. "C'mon."


	3. Damaged

Steve's house was small, but inviting. Definitely better than the dilapidated shack that had awaited Herobrine.

"Go ahead and make yourself comfortable, I'll be right with you."

Herobrine nodded and sat on the couch, looking around while Steve got the things he needed from a chest.

"You plan on telling me what happened to you now?"

"I..." Herobrine sighed. "I don't really like talking... This is the most I've-- fuck."

"Oh..." Steve nodded in understanding and walked back over to Herobrine. "I know sign language. If that'd be more comfortable for you, I'm perfectly fine with that."

 _Thank you,_ Herobrine signed with a bit of a pained smirk. _I got jumped by a couple guys not too far from here._

"I know exactly where you're talking about." He picked up the small rag and dipped it into the bowl of warm water, wringing it out just so it wouldn't drip. "How does a god like you get injured like this?" He began wiping away the dirt smudges and blood.

_Easy. I'm not a god._

Steve stopped. "What?"

_Notch took away my powers when he banished me._

"That's basically a death sentence." Steve glanced at the now filthy rag and frowned.

_He knew._

"Then why--"

_He always hated me. Even before our fight._

Steve thought a moment, then sighed, putting the rag and bowl of water down. "I'm not gonna be able to wash that out." He stood up and gestured for Herobrine to follow him.

Herobrine was confused, but followed him anyway. Steve was helping him despite knowing who he was, after all. That was a first.

But still... he knew who he was.

Why would he want to help? He had been made out to be a monster, and everyone had believed it.

Steve didn't seem to think so.

That didn't make sense.

And it wasn't like he had proved otherwise; all Steve saw was that he'd been beaten within an inch of his life.

"You go ahead and wash up, I'll be downstairs if you need me."

Herobrine blinked, took a moment to process, and nodded. Steve turned on his heel and left, closing the door behind him.

He'd been so lost in his thought process he hadn't noticed that Steve had taken him to the bathtub. Steve had also left a clean shirt and pants for Herobrine to change into.

His kindness was just getting stranger and stranger.


	4. Lost

Steve was on the couch, reading a book.

It was leatherbound and written in ink, as were the rest of his books, gifted to him by his friend Alex.

They'd been thick as thieves for as long as either of them could remember, and one of Alex's favorite things to do was to write.

She'd written all sorts of things; love stories, poems, cautionary tales, horror, and so on. This one, funnily enough, had been written about an encounter she'd had with Herobrine.

Steve hadn't bothered to read it previously, saying he'd save it for later, but now seemed as good a time as any.

There was a knock on the doorframe.

He looked up, and Herobrine stood there, the out-of-place vibe he gave off making him seem as dejected as a kicked puppy.

Steve dog-eared the page, closed the book, and stood up, retrieving his medical supplies again.

Herobrine took the hint and sat down on the couch next to where Steve was.

His injuries looking a lot better with the blood and dirt gone, Steve could get a better look at his general appearance.

They were about the same height and were physically similar, both having dark brown hair and tanned skin.

However, Steve was more squarely build, whereas Herobrine was thin and kind of lanky.

Then there was the obvious white-eyes versus violet-eyes thing. Steve was scarred, but not terribly so.

Herobrine, on the other hand, had a ridiculous amount of scars, still-healing scrapes and bruises, and his current injuries.

On second thought, they were more different than he'd originally thought.

He began wrapping the cuts and gashes the best he could, trying not to make the bandages too tight.

Herobrine only winced once, but that was when Steve's hand had slipped and actually touched the wound.

"Sorry... Are you okay?"

"'m fine," he mumbled through gritted teeth.

Steve thought a moment, then put his hand on Herobrine's chest and pressed down a little.

"Ow ow ow ow ow!"

"I was just checking something. Looks like those guys broke a few ribs." Steve put a few more bandages in place, just to be on the safe side.


	5. (I'm) Not

"It's been a long day, and getting some rest can't hurt."

Herobrine blinked and raised his hands from his sides to begin signing again. _I'm not tired._

"The bags under your eyes say otherwise, Herobrine. I'm only trying to help you."

_I can't and don't want to sleep. I haven't even gotten your name yet._

"It's Steve."

Herobrine thought for a moment and traced an infinity symbol in the air.

"Is that your sign for me now?"

He nodded.

"Okay, so that's settled. Why can't you sleep?"

Herobrine looked away. _Nightmares. What's the point of trying if I can't stay asleep?_

"That's gotta be pretty bad," Steve winced. "What are they about? If you don't mind talking about it, of course."

_I do mind talking about it, thank you. I've been plenty open with you, and I haven't even known you a full day._

"Fair enough."

 _And with that, I'm leaving._ Herobrine, true to his word, stood up and walked right out the door.

"Hey, where the hell are you going?"

"Fuck you!" was the slightly raspy reply.

"Just watch, just you fucking watch, I know you'll be back here worse off than before!"

Herobrine, already out of sight, didn't give an answer. Steve groaned and went back inside, went to his bed, lied down, and covered his head with the pillow.

Herobrine had given him a major headache.

 

\--------

 

"Remind me why this was a good idea again?"

Alex struck the iron ore with her pickaxe again, putting her feet on the stone wall and both pushing and pulling to give herself enough leverage to pull it back out, thus launching herself onto the ground.

"Ow...."

Steve snickered, getting an eyeroll in return.

"We used to mine together all the time." She propped herself up on her elbows. "I thought you'd be excited about this."

"I guess it just... lost its charm."

She made to say something, but abandoned whatever it was for agreeing with him. "Yeah, you're kinda right." She chuckled and stood up, hitting the ore with the now-freed pickaxe once more. "It's still nice being able to spend time with you. I mean, we don't really see each other anymore."

"Yeah..."

"'Course, that's probably my fault. I'm always traveling." With one final hit, the ore dropped to the ground in a near-perfect cube. Alex picked it up and put it in her leather satchel along with a few others. "But that's losing its charm, too, nowadays. Who knows, maybe I'll settle down soon like you did."

"Maybe." He shrugged, following Alex further into the cave.

"Maybe somewhere nearby, or even sharing a base."

"That could work."

"Have you decided what you're gonna try to do?"

Steve gave her a quizzical look. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Like.... what do you think you're gonna do in life?"

"Gee, I dunno... What do you wanna do?"

"I wanna be an author. Maybe working with a few librarians around here. Or an inventor, I guess." She set her satchel down and sat on a stone block. "I can see you as a family man with a little farm."

"Oh?"

"Yeah. I could be wrong, but...." She trailed off. "Did you hear that?"

"Alex, it's a fucking cave. You can hear a lot."

"It sounded like screaming... I think whoever it is, is hurt!" She jumped to her feet, slung her satchel over her shoulder and sprinted further into the cave.

"Alex, get the fuck back here!" He ran after her. "It's way too dark in here for you to just run--"


	6. (I) Am

Steve eventually caught up to Alex, who was kneeling in front of a small crawlspace likely left behind by a past miner. She set her lantern down and squinted, as if she was trying to make something out, then smiled warmly.

"Herobrine, I know you're in there. You can come out, it's okay."

He folded his arms. "Alex, just leave him be. If he's hiding, it's for a reason."

"No shit, Sherlock." She turned her attention back to Herobrine. "Are you okay?"

Rather than answering, he came out and stood up, letting the multiple arrows piercing his torso speak for themselves.

"I told you you'd be worse off leaving, ya goddamn moron," Steve said with a chuckle.

_You were asking too much, too soon. I was under no obligation to stay._

"What are you guys talking about?"

Steve sighed. "He got too close to that one village. Saw him walking home last night, offered to let him stay for a while, patched him up, asked a few questions, and he took off."

_What he means is that he kept asking very personal questions after I'd just learned his name. And I mean very personal._

"Steve, you've done it again." Alex put her head in her hands. "Will you ever learn what boundaries are?"

"To be completely honest, probably not."

"Whatever." She let her hands drop to her sides. "Let's get Herobrine somewhere safer so we can get those arrows out."

 

\----

 

With a final yelp from Herobrine, Alex tugged the last arrow out and set it on the ground.

"You okay?"

Herobrine hesitated, then nodded.

"Okay." She smiled, helping Herobrine stand up from the rock he'd been sitting on. "So where's your house?"

_Why would I tell you?_

"So we can walk you home...?"

_I'll go alone, thanks._

"You sure?"

_Positive._

"Herobrine, do you even have a house?" Steve cut in.

Herobrine didn't answer.

Alex waved her hand dismissively. "Regardless, it's not safe for you to be anywhere by yourself right now. Once you're healed, maybe, but not right now." She thought for a moment. "Why don't you give staying with Steve another shot? Maybe give each other some distance until you get used to one another?"

The two men exchanged glances. Steve was the first to reply.

"It's up to Herobrine."

Almost 30 seconds of uncomfortable silence passed before Herobrine finally gave his answer.

_No harm in trying._


	7. Old Wounds

Herobrine spent the night in Steve's room. He once again didn't sleep, only laying on the bed, staring blankly at the ceiling and letting his mind wander. He didn't even get under the covers, despite being chilly and Steve's insistence that he make himself comfortable.

This wasn't his space, he couldn't relax, it wasn't ok, it wasn't right.

He was barging in on Steve's life, to the point where Steve had relinquished his room, his safe space, to him while he slept on the couch in the living room.

This wasn't ok.

He balled his hands into tight fists, closing his eyes and sighing. He held his eyes shut until his arms trembled from the tension before he relaxed and opened his eyes again.

Who was he to complain? Without Steve's help, he'd probably be dead twice over. He was being selfish.

Selfish was one of the names Notch had called him a lot.

Back then he'd try to defend himself.

"I'm not good with change, and you know it! I wasn't even used to the animals yet, and now you've brought in other sentient beings?!"

Selfish, he'd been called, for not desiring progress. For wanting some sense of stability in the ever-changing world that he had no say in.

"I already changed your body because that's what you wanted. This world would be complete by now, but I slowed down for you," Notch had said, icicles almost tangible on his cold words. "Isn't it time to consider what I want?"

"What you want is always the next best thing, a new thrill." Herobrine sighed and looked at the ground. "Haven't you ever considered that maybe they'd like things staying the same, too?"

"You cannot speak on the behalf of those you've never interacted with."

"If you'd actually give me a chance to before adding the next thing, then I'd be able to know for sure. But--"

Notch had cut him off and proceeded to lecture him on how much of a brat he was being.

But was he really being selfish for wanting to be able to understand in his own way? Notch never gave him a chance to explain himself.

It wasn't his fault he was.... different. Defective code, that's all. Something Notch could've fixed if he'd actually fucking listened.

But he never did. And what's the point of speaking if it always fell on deaf ears?

Was he really being selfish for telling Notch who he was had been wrong and asking him to change it? He was grateful for it, he really was, and he hadn't stared at his bloodied dagger again afterward.

Herobrine was suddenly made aware that he'd been crying thinking about all of this. He brought his bandaged hand up to his face and wiped the tears the best he could before he had to stop moving it because of the pain.

Another reminder of just how fragile he was.

He hated it.

But there was one saving grace about all of this.

Steve, assuming they were from past fights, didn't question the scars on his arms.


	8. Fresh Start

There were many ways Herobrine could figure this would go, but none of them seemed to be good.

"Alex, are you sure this is a good idea?" Steve called from a good 30 feet away.

"Positive!" The redhead in question grabbed a vine and jumped out of the tree, clinging onto it as if her life depended on it before tying it to the contraption she'd come up with.

"What's it even supposed to do?"

"Just watch, okay?" She threw a lever and backed away. A good thing, too, considering the next thing her contraption did was explode and send blocks flying.

_Was that what was supposed to happen?_

"No, Herobrine, it wasn't what was supposed to happen. What was supposed to happen was it was supposed to move and pull the tree down."

"Even if it did move, the vine would've snapped first. Didn't you think of that?"

".....oh."

Steve snickered. "You're so stupid sometimes, it's ridiculous. "

Alex nodded and waved her hand dismissively, as if to say "yeah, yeah, whatever" and glanced at Herobrine, who didn't seem to find any humor in what just transpired.

"You okay?"

He nodded.

"Alex, he doesn't exactly feel things the way we do. You said so yourself!"

"Well, excuse me for worrying about our friend!"

"He never said he was our friend."

Herobrine marched over and pushed them away from each other. "Don't start," he snapped. "Just don't."

"Don't get your panties in a wad, Herobrine, we're just fucking around."

_Steve, I'm gonna push you into a ravine._

"I'll hold you to it."

Alex sighed. "Both of you, shut up. I asked you guys to hang out because I wanted us to have a fun day together, not because I wanted a fight to start."

"Why are you trying to do this, anyway?"

"There's gonna be a showcase at this year's harvest festival, and I signed up. I have to have something."

Herobrine raised an eyebrow. _Can't you cancel if you don't have anything?_

Alex shook her head and began retrieving the scraps of what remained of her.... whatever.


	9. Looking Back

Left bored and fatigued at the end of the day, Herobrine had wandered off.

It didn't matter that Steve would be mad, didn't matter he was "too badly hurt" to be by himself.

It didn't matter that it was indeed legitimately dangerous to be on his own. It didn't matter he might not come back, and that Steve and Alex might never find his body.

Why would it matter anyway? He wasn't thinking about it. What he was thinking about, however, was the day of the fight.

He thought about it often. The memory was warped by emotion, personal experiences, and time, but it was still very close to what had happened.

A little boy.

Yes, he was younger. 14, maybe 15.

Why was he younger? Who knows. In Evermore, you only really grow up if you're born in the first place. And he wasn't, and neither was Notch. They had just appeared as all the miners do, and yet Herobrine was the one to grow up like a villager.

Whatever. Not worth dwelling on. Back to memory.

He stood in the doorway, watching Notch work.

"Notch? Are you almost done?"

"Herobrine, what did I tell you about this?" He looked over his shoulder, narrowing his eyes. "You need to work on being patient."

"Sorry...." He looked away. "I'm just bored, and you said you'd hang out with me when you were done."

Notch turned back to his papers. "Well, I lied. Can you go away now? I'm busy."

Herobrine turned on his heel and left in a huff.

Notch had been lying a lot lately, and his patience, which he had very little of to begin with, was about to run out.

He wasn't angry, he wasn't sad, he wasn't hurt, he was just sick of the lying and sick of the boredom.

While wandering around, looking for something to do, he came across multiple houses, with a garden nearby.

Herobrine tilted his head a bit, confused.

A lamb trotted up to him and nudged his leg with its head. He smiled and picked it up, holding it gently but securely and began looking around.

"Hello there!" a friendly voice called out.

Herobrine flinched, startled, and turned to the voice.

.....a person.

He ran back.

\----

Herobrine had been so caught up in his flashback that he hadn't noticed Steve standing at the bottom of the tree he was in, calling for him.

He shot the miner a dirty look before beginning the climb down.

"I couldn't find you and panicked."

_Wanted to get away from it all. You, specifically._

"Fuck you."

_You wish._

"Hey!"

Herobrine grinned and jumped back onto the ground.


	10. Later On

Steve was changing Herobrine's bandages.

Or rather, he was instructing Herobrine how to wrap them properly while the ex-god in question changed them himself.

Herobrine had rather explicitly stated he didn't want Steve touching him in any context. But that was fine. He could understand that.

Of course, he was terrible with promises and boundaries anyway.

So when Herobrine hadn't listened and had begun wrapping the bandages on his chest differently than Steve instructed, he reached out to correct him.

Which led to now.

Herobrine froze. His eyes were glazed over and seemed unfocused even as he made eye contact with Steve. 

His hands shook and fingers twitched slightly, still gripping the bandage. 

His breathing was quick and shallow.

"Herobrine....?"

"Don't." His voice trembled and it was clear he struggled to force even that single word out.

Steve let go of the bandage and backed away a bit. Herobrine stayed in the same scared state.

That was when he knew something was deeply, horribly wrong.

And it was also when he promised to himself he'd fix this the best he could.

 

* * *

 

Herobrine slept in Steve's bed again. Or at least, he pretended to.

Steve came in to check on him every now and then, and so he'd close his eyes and purposely slow his breathing, and it worked. Steve would leave after a few seconds.

But..... this time was different.

Footsteps. He was coming closer.

Herobrine felt the bed dip down beside him from the weight of another person. A hand on his back, gently rubbing as if to assure him of something. But what?

He resisted the urge to stiffen and shove him away.

".....I know you're not really asleep, Herobrine. It's okay."

He sighed in relief and opened his eyes, violet meeting arctic white.

It reminded him of when he was creating the first flower. Beautiful colors.

"You're cold." It wasn't a question, it was a statement.

Herobrine nodded.

Steve chuckled. "Well, then why aren't you under the covers, silly?"

A shrug.

A laugh.

Caring hands pulling the covers up and over Herobrine's thin frame.

"Better?"

The blanket was soft and thick and so, so _warm_... Whatever cold he'd felt was quickly replaced by a comforting and desperately needed heat.

He nodded.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait.


	11. Sleep

Steve chuckled and laid down next to Herobrine, playing with his hair a bit. "Are you okay? Be honest."

Herobrine seriously considered the question, simply shrugging in lieu of a proper answer.

"That's okay. Not knowing is better than being sure you're not and lying to yourself and others about it." He smiled.

"Mm." Herobrine glanced off to the side. He didn't wanna think about that kind of thing. Not yet.

"Thanks for letting me help you."

_You're welcome._

"You're really tired, aren't you? I can see it in your eyes."

He nodded.

"Someone I lived with a while ago had trouble with sleeping, too. Do you want me to help you?"

_Okay._

"I'll be right back, okay?" Steve got up and left the room.

Herobrine sat up, wincing a bit, and loosened the bandages around his chest a bit before he got back.

When Steve returned, he had a gently-flickering lantern and a book. "You like stories, right?"

_I suppose._

"Alex wrote this." He set the lantern on the table next to the bed and sat next to Herobrine again. "It's a poem about a pillager girl and her life in the woodland mansion. Does that sound interesting?"

He remembered a time several seasons ago when a group of pillagers had found him after getting beaten senseless and taken him in for a while. He nodded.

"Alright." Steve cleared his throat and began reading.

Herobrine found himself nearly asleep very soon, but jolted awake again.

Steve assured him that if he had a nightmare he'd be right there, and sometime after that, he lost consciousness.

 

 

* * *

 

 

No nightmare was had that night.

In fact, upon waking, Herobrine had decided that had been the best sleep of his life.

Steve wasn't in bed, so he left the room to see where he was. Turns out he was in the backyard tending to the animals.

"Oh, hey, Herobrine. Did you sleep okay?"

He nodded. _Can I help?_

"I don't know... You don't seem like you'd be good with animals."

_Please?_

"Fine." He handed Herobrine the pail of chicken feed.

Herobrine scooped some of it into his hand and knelt down, smiling a little as the chickens proceeded to eat out of his hand.

Steve thought his smile was beautiful.


End file.
